STOP and DROP©: An Exercise to Self-Regulate in an Emotionally-Charged Situation

This week’s offering dives deeper into this important technique. The idea is to intentionally NOT engage with the intensifying energy level of your student (or partner), and instead place your focus on a body centered connection within yourself. By aligning with your body’s stability, you energetically offer the other person a way to regain their homeostasis. When you STOP and DROP into your body, your rational, calm self becomes the non-reactionary, guiding force in the situation.  

Aesop wrote a fable of a dispute between the North Wind and the Sun. Each claimed to be the stronger one. A cloaked man walked by, and they put their strength to the test by agreeing that the one who could remove the traveler’s cloak is the strongest. The North Wind went first and blasted gust after gust of icy howling wind, but the traveler just wrapped his cloak tighter and tighter until the North Wind in anger and frustration gave up. The Sun’s gentle rays shone down on the traveler and the comforting warmth penetrated his heavy cloak which hung looser and looser as the heat intensified. The bright sunshine served its purpose and the traveler shed his cloak and sought relaxation under the cool shade of a tree.

The moral of the story is traditionally interpreted to be that kindness and warmth win over brute force. 

So in the case of STOP AND DROP, your alignment with your breath and body is the Sun (kindness and warmth) and the dysregulated person’s emotions are the North Wind (brute force). Which will be the stronger? 

This key part of this technique is to disengage with the gusty winds that are building around you by consciously deciding to STOP and DROP into your parasympathetic nervous system’s powerful calming forces. Simply taking a few mindful breaths while having the intention to align with your body’s wisdom will get you there.

Just to be clear, sometimes the other person’s emotions may have escalated out of control. In that case, co-regulating may take time and other interventions are necessary. It may seem like the North Wind wins when this happens, but it’s not the case. When you STOP and DROP into your body and take a few conscious breaths, you can intentionally move your awareness to your prefrontal cortex zone. Now you’ll be in a position to access your full brain power to figure out the best steps to lead the dysregulated person back to emotional stability.

The STOP and DROP method isn’t just for teachers. It’s a non-defensive communication technique that can be used by parents, co-workers, or really anyone who finds themselves face to face with someone whose emotions are beginning to howl.

Can you think of a time when STOP and DROP might have come in handy for you? We want to know.